I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
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you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I wear drunk well.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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