i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
