we have officially lost it.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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