Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
