he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize