I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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