what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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