I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
