I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have already put on my inside pants.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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