I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize