Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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