On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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