It's like God shit irony all over that family
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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