I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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