I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
