Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
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Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
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I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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