Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
two words...techno handjob
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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