dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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