Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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