That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
