There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
