We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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