listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
