Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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