Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
