I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
