let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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