I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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