I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
