Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
