we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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