party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
