I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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