We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
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I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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