you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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