if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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