listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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