happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
