i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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