Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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