Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
