wanna go halves on a baby?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
