toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to stick my p in your. b.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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