do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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