I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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