dude i'm inner monologue high
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
