bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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