I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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