we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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