Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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