My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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