He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
