i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
operation harelip BJ is a go
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
