Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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