do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
